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Friday, July 6, 2018

Review: The Goblin Companion: A Field Guide to Goblins

The Goblin Companion: A Field Guide to Goblins The Goblin Companion: A Field Guide to Goblins by Brian Froud
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Listen! Do you hear that? It's coming from above. It sounds like something squawking, "Damm you gravity!"

Quick! Duck! Hit the decks!

The Amom Pherriginus didn't hit you, did it? Good. It's a type of bird that doesn't have feathers, so it glues feathers on. Sometimes, though, its wings get stuck together. You know how it is with Crazy Glue.

It's really heavy. See that hole?

Froud and Jones' guide to goblins is a very handy resource. You learn a great many thing about goblins. A list, by no means complete or even accurate:

1. Tallow Goblins do mean things to thier grannies.

2. Never, ever try to steal a Tallow Goblins purse.

3. Loch Ness does exist.

4. Ladies, watch out for detachable members (yes, those types of members! There was even a picture. You would think it would hurt.)

5. Never hear the story of Luerk.

6. Knitting can be fatal.

7. Twark's are good kissers, though why you would want to kiss one is beyond me.

8. You can tame worms.

9. Beware of Agnes.

10. The Sacred Bone of Whence

11. Goblins have a law aganist sex:
(a) They don't follow it

(b) They smell during the act. I mean really smell.

As well as many other useful facts that I forgot because I was laughing too hard.

The only drawback to the book, if drawback it be, is that you find yourself humming David Bowie music inbetween laugh riots. (Make sure you go the WC before reading. Consider yourself warned!)

You remind of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
The power of voodoo.
Who do?
You do.
Do what?
Remind me of the babe.

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